i wish peter jackson would direct porn
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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