Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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