Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
