I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
