I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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