Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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