So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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