i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
