Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Life is so much better after having sex.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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