thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
