Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
