i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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