the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
