Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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