Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
