Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i already hear my dad disowning me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
