So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
