He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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