A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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