she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize