my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
