There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
