that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
