Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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