you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I could fuck to npr.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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