I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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