I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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