I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
