went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
