I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
