If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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