Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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