the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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