maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
