The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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