the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
