Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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