guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
