Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
