nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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