My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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