Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize