I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
