shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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