Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
