Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
