Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
honey bunches of taint.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
