Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
