I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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