I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
