I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
