There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
