In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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