What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
