I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
