Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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