I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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