How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
