I heard we made out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
