Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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