in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you never un-have a 4some
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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