I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
