so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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