Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
