no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
