Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I wear drunk well.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
