I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
