no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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