my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
