Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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