And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
