Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
