Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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