big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize