I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
