So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
