Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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